


And We Meet Again: Part I

by kt_anansi



Series: A Second Chance [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Clarke is Demi Romo, F/M, Female Masturbation, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Murphy and Clarke are best friends- because we all have a need, Phone Sex, Sad Ending, Sexual Fantasy, Skinny Dipping, Smut, Smut Fic, Summer Romance, True Love, Warnings: there will be alcohol, Warnings: there will be drugs, but we love it, they are both a mess, warnings: expect pretty much anything that comes with the rock and roll lifestyle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-05-02 13:15:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19199572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kt_anansi/pseuds/kt_anansi
Summary: After breaking up with her boyfriend of two years, Clarke spends a night with Bellamy Blake. Soon, what was supposed to be her rebound, changes her life forever.**fic will at some point get edited.





	1. Track One: She's a Mess

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I desperately need to edit this work again... I don't have a beta and apologize for errors in this one.
> 
> TW for drugs, sensitive topics, sex. There's a reason why its rated E.
> 
> This is a quick burn fic- with a sad(ish) ending. 
> 
> Part two will be a slow burn, with a happy ending. Bellarke is endgame, promise. 
> 
> Also, I feel like part one is a little half-assed on my part. So I may come back and tighten up my writing and expand the story.

May 2012  

 

 _“Clarke Griffin, will you marry me?”_  

Clarke sat in the middle of the restaurant. She had been completely and utterly blindsided. As she stared down at Finn and the fancy ring he was presenting her, she began to panic. She knew this place was fancy, but she didn’t see  _this_  coming. It was obvious that Finn was in love with her. But this- it had only been two years. She was going to be a senior in college.  

It was too much, too soon.  

“Clarke,” he mumbled out of the side of his mouth, “are you gonna leave me hanging?”  

“I, uh...  _Finn,_ ” she was certain he knew the answer that was going to come out of her, because his face fell, and he slowly closed the small box, “I’m sorry... I’m just not ready.”  

“Wow, I guess I really misread that one,” he said, slipping the box back into his coat pocket and getting up. Without a word, he put a wad of cash on the table, and looked down at Clarke. With his eyes watering slightly, she almost couldn’t bear it. She had to fight the instinct to say yes out of her desire to not see him suffer, “I guess we aren’t on the same page. I’ll see you when I get home. Don’t wait up.”  

 _What the hell was that supposed to mean? Could he really blame her for not being ready for that sort of commitment?_ Gathering her purse, she put her peacoat on and followed Finn out.  

“Finn, wait!” She yelled as the spring rain in Boston began to drench her hair (she had left her umbrella in his car- dammit). 

Halfway down the sidewalk, he stopped, turning his own soaked self toward her. His eyes brightened up- as if hoping for a different answer. It was then that Clarke knew that answer wouldn’t come- not now. Not ever. “Give me a day. I’ll move my stuff out and go to my mom’s.”  

With his jaw trembling, he scoffed, “Good call, Clarke. You do that. I’m gonna go get hammered.”  

 _“You do that, Finn,”_  she mumbled to herself as she walked back to the restaurant to call a cab.  

Once she got back to her apartment she showered and changed into dry clothes. 

“I guess this means I’m spending summer back home...Ugh,” Clarke mumbled as she stuffed her underwear into the duffle bag that she had been using since her freshman year of college.  

“Whys that?” A familiar voice met Clarke’s ears and she couldn’t help but smile.  

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you that talking with your mouth full is rude, Murphy?”  

Walking into the room, Murphy slid by her and sat on the bed. With a sly smile, he observed her mood. He could tell something was off- Murphy could always tell something was off. 

“Clarke, my mother is the personification of rude- do you  _really_  think she would care about how I eat my ice cream?” He asked, shoving another spoonful into his mouth, “Why are you going home?” 

“Because Finn went and proposed to me...”  

“Ooh,” Murphy said, as his face took on a pained expression on Finn’s behalf. “So, you broke up with him? That’s harsh, Clarke- I like it.” 

As Murphy smiled his devilish smirk, Clarke took the bowl of ice cream out of his hands and plopped down next to him as she shoved a bite in her own mouth. 

“I feel bad,” she said, “I thought, for a moment, that maybe we could move past it. But he paid for dinner and just left. It wasn’t even open for discussion...” 

“What did you say when he asked?” 

“That I wasn’t ready.” 

“Well, at least you’re honest... I mean, you aren’t even done with college yet,” Murphy lifted his hands up as if to say, hold that thought, and disappeared briefly. When he got back, he had a whole carton of Ice Cream and a new spoon for himself, “Hey, I can’t take your ice cream... you just broke a man’s heart.”   

At that, Clarke laughed, “Oh god. You make me sound horrible. Maybe I am...” It was true- she had broken Finn’s heart. And yes, she felt bad for him. But if he had told her anything about his inclination to propose, she would have told him not to, “It was just... so sudden, Murphy.”  

“Yeah, I thought you were going to break up with him this summer when he left for Belize for that photography trip.”  

“Yeah... I was,” she admitted, “Are you still going home? I can help out with gas if you let me ride along.”  

“Yeah, in a few days... and you can come as long as you don’t mind Octavia and Bellamy hitching a ride,” Murphy said, “good thing I traded my car in for the van- plenty of space for the tour this fall.”   

“Wait, Bellamy’s here? Why?”  

“He came for Octavia’s spring theater performance. And apparently, his bassist, Adam went and got arrested. So, he asked me to join the band,” Murphy said, smiling, “I figured,  _what the hell?_ I graduated, and I don’t have a job yet. So, why not?”  

“Wow. So, you’re just gonna join Bellamy Blake’s band and start doing what? Drugs? Hooking up with random chicks?” 

“Do you think they’ll go for the bassist?” Murphy asked, intrigued by the idea.  

“Murphy, you know that’s not my point!” Clarke laughed, “I mean, Bellamy Blake... isn’t he a bad influence?”  

“Look, before you became my best friend, Bellamy was my best friend- you don’t even know him, Clarke. He’s probably worse than you think.”  

Oh, god Murphy. He knew how to make her laugh. 

“Seriously though, Bellamy is cooler than you think. And not nearly as weird and scandalous as our peers made him out to be.” Murphy offered her more ice cream, to which Clarke shook her head, “We are actually playing a show tomorrow night, wanna come with?”  

“Oh, I don’t know. I-”  

“Clarke- seriously. Let yourself have some fun. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch the next few nights so that things aren’t so awkward with Finn, okay?”  

Not taking no for an answer, Murphy helped her move some bedding to his room. After talking some more about the logistics of their trip home, he hugged Clarke and said goodnight. After she slipped under the covers, she had a hard time falling asleep. It was probably good that she wasn’t going home in a huff the day after the spring semester ended- but she couldn’t help it, she wanted to get out of Boston now that Finn had made things awkward. Dealing with avoiding Finn for an entire week just sounded so... tedious. And she really didn’t want to hurt the guy.  

And then there was the idea of Bellamy. God. How long had it been since she had seen him? He was Murphy’s age, two years older than Clarke- even though he only graduated a year before she did. She actually took guitar lessons with the company that he worked with. Thank god he wasn’t the one teaching her- she would never admit to anyone, but she had an insane crush on him. But that was Highschool, right? And it had been, what five years since she saw him?  

Octavia, on the other hand, had become a really good friend of hers, and well, Clarke had no intention of anything happening between herself and her friend’s brother. So, pushing her nerves down, she stuffed her awareness of Bellamy Blake into a box, she told herself he was a bad idea- a bad influence, dangerous even. She absolutely could not and would not have a crush on him again.  

 

* * *

 

“I.D. and fifteen bucks,” the bouncer said, as Clarke and Octavia made it the door of the venue (finally). the pair presented their driver’s licenses when asked. 

“Um, my brother said that I’m on the list as his plus one? And my friend here should be John Murphy’s plus one.”  

Double checking Clarke’s ID the bouncer shook his head, “Sorry, there isn’t a Clarke Analiese Griffin on the list.  

“Analiese?” Murphy asked, swooping over and putting his arms around both Clarke and Octavia, “I assure you, Fred, these two are on the list. Clarke is listed as Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.”  

“Oh my god, Murphy, you can’t be-” 

“That  _is_ on the list. Hand?” Clarke presented her hand and Fred stamped it, “There ya go, Princess-”  

“Thanks, Fred, really!” Clarke cut him off before he could finish the rest of it. Once they were in the bar and Murphy had grabbed Clarke a rum and coke she shoved him on the shoulder, “I don’t believe you, Murphy!” 

“What? It was funny!”  

“No, it was embarrassing!” she countered.  

“Oh, c’mon Clarke, you gotta admit it was kinda funny,” Octavia said, smiling before she screamed in surprise as someone behind her lifted her up, “Oh my god! Bellamy! Put. Me. Down!”  

“Fine,” he said, dropping her without any consideration for her safety. Luckily Octavia wasn’t wearing heels, so she was able to keep her balance. As she mumbled something about Bellamy being a jerk, he spoke up “what was funny?”  

“My name for Clarke, I took your suggestion.”  

“Oh god.” Clarke couldn’t help but cover her face. _Cue awkward crush,_ she thought to herself. When she looked up, Bellamy was just smiling at her, his eyes bright with excitement. 

“Wow. I haven’t seen you in... forever,” he said, surprising her by coming around and giving her a tight hug. As far as she was concerned, she barely knew the guy, “You look good, Clarke.”  

“Thanks... You, too,” she stammered, looking to Octavia she added, “I guess.”  

Bellamy continued to zero in on Clarke, which in turn made her blush, “So what’s new?”  

“Uh, not much. Just got done with the semester...”  

They made small talk until both Murphy and Octavia split away to talk to other people, “What have you been up to?” Clarke asked. By now her nerves were under control and she was genuinely enjoying the conversation. 

“Oh, just a little bit of this... A little bit of that,” He smiled. Under the blueish light of the club, Clarke was able to tell that Bellamy had filled out since high school. He wasn’t nearly as gangly- he had quite a bit of muscle. And he looked good. His freckles seemed more pronounced on his pale olive skin. In the summer, he would get a nice tan- the Blakes had amazing skin for that. Clarke, on the other hand, did not. She burned like a California forest on fire. As she sipped her drink, he continued, “I’m trying to get this band off the ground. This is a good gig for that. We are touring the Midwest this August. Should be fun... Clarke, are you old enough to be drinking?”  

Well, that caught her off guard, with a skeptical feeling, she showed her stamp, “It's a twenty-one plus show, I turned twenty-three in January.”  

“Oh, I thought you were Octavia’s age,” he said, “sorry.”  

“It’s okay. and Octavia just turned 21... anyway, me going into my senior year of college kinda throws people off, I get it,” she said, smiling slightly, “I had to take some time off to make sure my mom was okay... after my dad- I don’t know if you heard. But my Dad died a few weeks after I graduated High School.” 

“Yeah, I heard about the accident. I’m sorry Clarke.”  

“It’s okay... It is what it is, right?” at that, they both nodded awkwardly. 

“So... you and Murphy?" Bellamy ventured shyly, "are you two a thing?”  

“Why? You wanna ask him out?" Clarke said, nudging Bellamy in the ribs, "I think you’d get along. He’d like your shirt... The Decemberists. Classic.”  

Bellamy laughed, “No. Murphy is an awesome friend. But no, I’m not going to ask him out, Clarke.” For a few moments Bellamy just picked at the wrapper on his beer, “Clarke I was won-”  

“My boyfriend asked me to marry him yesterday, and I said no- and broke up with him,” Clarke spewed it all out before she even knew what she was saying, “I, uh, don’t know how I feel about dating right now.”   

“Wow,” he said, “that is... _That is a lot_.”  

“Yeah.”  

After that, things got awkward as Bellamy eyed her while downing his beer, “Alright, I gotta go. I have a show to play...”  

“Okay,” Clarke said, nodding. As Bellamy walked past her, he patted her shoulder. It was a sweet and innocent touch, but it sent sparks through her. Covering his hand with hers, she stopped him, “Bellamy, wait.”  

He turned, looking down at her hand in confusion. He bent down in front of her. 

“What’s up?” he asked, eyeing her curiously, “I-” 

Before she knew it, Clarke had grabbed Bellamy's cheeks and used that leverage to pull him into a kiss. He responded, and Clarke could feel his hands sliding up her thighs. Suddenly, she realized exactly what she was doing, and let him go.  

“Oh my god. Bellamy, I- Uh,” he just sat there smirking in that dumb and cute way, “I’m a mess.”  

With a slight smile, he kissed her again and then whispered in her ear, “a mess is something I can handle, Clarke," The way he said it was deliciously seductive and promising- it sent more shivers down her spine. With one last glance, he got up and walked toward the stage. All the while, she watched as his perfect ass made its way across the room.  

 _Yup. She was a full-blown mess._  


	2. Track Two: Maybe We Both Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the show, Clarke runs into some old friends. She ends up in an unexpected place at the end of the night... 
> 
> Should she just let loose or not?
> 
>  
> 
> TW: Pot is in this chapter. Also, there is brief exposure to snorting amphetamines.

_One..._  

 _Two..._  

Clarke counted the shots that she and Octavia downed, as she tried to get the taste of Bellamy Blake out of her mouth. 

“Another, please!” Octavia asked, shoving her shot glass toward the bartender.  

“Okay, little lady, I gotta cut you off...” he said, as he rinsed out a glass.  

“What’s your name?” Octavia asked, staring at the tall drink of water in front of her,  _“You’re hot.”_  

The man let out a laugh.  _Yeah, he was attractive,_ Clarke couldn’t deny that. With a glint in his eye, the man smirked at Octavia, “My name’s Lincoln. You?” 

“Octavia,” she said, returning the glint.  

“Oh, great,” Clarke mumbled, snagging her glass of water, and rolling her eyes. The pair were already flirting, and Clarke could see where Octavia’s night was headed- and it probably involved having a one-night stand with tall, dark and handsome over there. 

“Jealous?” A voice met her ears and sent a shiver down her spine. Turning around, Clarke was almost nose-to-nose with Bellamy, “Because you don’t have to be, Princess.”  

“Hooking up with a stranger?” Clarke asked, “No. I am not jealous of that- not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just not my scene... anymore.”  

Clarke couldn’t lie, she had her fill with questionable hookups before she had met Finn. Finn had started out as such.  

“I thought you had a show to play?”  

“Just had to use the bathroom...” he said, smirking, “So, Murphy told me that you are headed home soon?” 

“Yeah...”  

“Are you gonna stay with your mom?” 

“That’s the plan...” 

“What a buzzkill- huh?”  

“Well, it’s not like I’m gonna have that much going on- I mean, I’m just getting away from my ex,” Clarke said, suddenly aware of how close Bellamy was to her. It wasn’t imposing per se, but it felt intimate. Clarke found herself averting her gaze, staring at the ground.  

“Well, you should have some fun while you still can,” he said, a smirk meeting Clarke’s eyes when she looked up, “From what Octavia tells me, you deserve it.”  

“Well, maybe we both do.”  

 

* * *

 

 _Maybe we both do._  

 _Fuck._  

Bellamy could feel his skin tingling as he and Clarke made eye contact one more time before Murphy called him to the stage, “Oh, work. Right.” Clarke let out a little chuckle, and god, Bellamy wished he could kiss that smirk right off her face. Maybe later... 

As he made it up to the stage, the lights dimmed, and the familiar sound of his bandmates tuning their instruments met his ears. Yes... This. This was his element.  

“Alright, give it up for Grounder Pounder!” Bellamy announced, relishing the familiar feel of the mic in front of him. Slinging his guitar over his shoulder, he did a quick once-over, making sure everything was kosher, “We’re Skaikru, hailing from Arkadia, Illinois. Thanks for coming out tonight. We’re gonna start out with some covers...” 

Turning around, Bellamy made eye contact with his drummer, Jasper, who then counted them in.  

Oh, yeah, it was gonna be a good night.  

 

* * *

 

“Oh my god! I love this song!” Octavia squealed, jumping up from the bar and grabbing Clarke’s hand,  _“I’m packed, and I’m holding, I’m smiling, she’s living, she’s golden...”_  

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at Octavia’s playful spirit. She wished she could let loose, too. But there was always a coil of nerves inside her- something holding her back. Observing the room though, she noticed a lot of people were already swaying, dancing, some were even creating a mosh pit around the two of them. Every time Clarke looked up at the stage, it seemed like Bellamy was either making eye contact with a bandmate or staring at her. She tried not to stare at him for too long. How cliche was it, having a crush on the frontman of a semi-successful band from her hometown. God.

 _“I want something else to get me through this... semi-charmed kind of life...”_   Everyone sang along, and Clarke really wished she could. She liked this song, yes, but she was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic- so she squeezed past everyone and made her way back to the bar.  

“Oh my god! Clarke!” Turning around, Clarke saw Maya, Jasper’s girlfriend, sitting at the bar, “Clarke, you look so beautiful!”  

“Whoa. Okay,” Clarke laughed, as Maya wrapped her up in her arms, “Gimme whatever you’re having...”  

She was kidding, she really was. But sure enough, Maya smirked, “Well, because you’re a friend. A fellow Arkadian,” she pulled out a brownie, wrapped in plastic.  

“What’s this?” Clarke asked, taking it from her.  

“Something to help... de-stress.”  

“Ah,” Clarke thought about it... she wasn’t naïve enough to assume that this was just a brownie... but, really? Was she that kind of girl? “It’s not like, shrooms or anything right?”  

 _“God, no._ This is  _not_  the right environment for shrooms, Clarke.” Maya laughed, “It’s just excellent weed. Jasper and I made it ourselves. There's some great California Kush in there." 

Clarke couldn’t help but sigh, as she opened the wrapping. After all, Bellamy had told her to have some fun, right? “Sie la vie.” she mused, taking a bite.   

“Sie-fucking-la vie!” Maya laughed.  

 

It took about a half an hour for the brownie to kick in... and damn. It felt good. Clarke could feel her skin tingling pleasantly. Everything took on a pop-out feel. And Clarke was sure she was melting into her surroundings.  

“Let’s go dance!” Maya begged, pulling Clarke along. They made it to Octavia, who was excited to see Maya. It was terrific, Clarke had never noticed how beautiful her friends were. Body, mind, and soul- it all hit her at once. These people were so gorgeous. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the feel of the bass in her bones and the voice of the singer in her ears... 

That voice... 

It was familiar...  

“Damn, Bellamy can sing,” she muttered more to herself than anyone else, “and he’s hot. Fuck.”  

“Okay, now I _know the_  brownie kicked in,” Maya laughed.  

“What did she say?” Octavia asked, and Maya just laughed it off.  

“Oh, you got her stoned. Nice, Maya.”  

Clarke just shrugged their words off and enjoyed the feel of her heightened awareness. Everything seemed better, happier, more pleasurable. As the covers ended and the band headed into their original tracks, Maya told her which ones Jasper helped write.  

“Jasper. Man. I love Jasper- he's a cool guy.” 

“Aww, he thinks you’re cool, too.”  

That warmed Clarke’s heart. She hadn’t thought of these people in a long time... When she was in High School, she had little in common with this group. Now though, she felt a sense of kinship. There was something special about being from the same small town... it was almost something sacred.  

The girls danced for a while until the music died down. After that, they went outside. Joining Lincoln and Bellamy as they chatted a smoked some cigarettes. As soon as Octavia made it to Lincoln, she slipped her hand into his back pocket.  

 _“Well, they’re sure cozy...”_  Clarke mumbled. 

“Yeah, Jasper said he found them making out in the bathroom earlier,” Maya informed her, as she sat on the steps, "it was really steamy, apparently.  

"Well good for her," Clarke said. She was starting to sober up a bit, and although she still felt pleasant, she was getting tired, “What time is it?” she asked Maya, as she sat down next to her.  

“Uh... one-thirty,” she said, “I’m gonna go help Jasper with the drums.”  

Clarke nodded as her friend stood up and started to leave, “Hey, Maya... Thanks for the good time.”  

“Anytime, Clarke,” she said, “I mean it. Let’s hang out this summer, okay?” 

“Yeah, that sounds fun.”  

 

* * *

 

Bellamy couldn’t help but smile as he watched Maya and Clarke part. It looked like Clarke had a good time tonight. She had let loose more than he thought she would, which was surprising. Excusing himself from the conversation he was having with the bartender, he went and sat next to Clarke.  

“Did you have a good time?” he asked, bumping his shoulder against hers.  

“Yeah, I did. You?” 

“Of course. I’m in my element here,” Bellamy laughed, “So what are doing now?”  

“I don’t know. I’ll probably go home... or get a pizza,” Clarke said as if suddenly overcome with the need to eat an entire pie, “or Nachos. Nachos sound good.”  

“Ah, you’ve got the munchies.”  

“Guess so,” she laughed, “Wanna go grab something with me?”  

Taken aback by the offer, Bellamy just stared at her for a moment before finally answering, “Uh, yeah. I’d love to... What’s open right now?”  

“I have no idea,” Clarke laughed, “I’m never out this late. I mean, at least not during the week.” 

Giving some thought, she looked around, “Let’s go ask Murphy.”  

Making their way back into the bar, the stage was now bare, and people were departing, “I think he’s downstairs,” Bellamy offered, as he opened the door. Clarke gave him a surprised look but went down. Seeing Jasper and Monty doing lines of something, while Harper and Maya just drank and talked shocked him. Bellamy had to fight the urge to smack the boys on their heads. When he looked at Clarke, she seemed alarmed.  

“I- uh, I don’t do that, just so you know.”  

“What is it?”  

“Adderall, think...” Clarke looked concerned but didn’t say anything else about it. If she needed to, they could talk about it later, Bellamy figured, “Anyone seen Murphy?”  

As the group all pointed to a side door, Murphy spilled out of it with a groupie that Bellamy had been chatting up before Clarke got there. They both had swollen lips, and the girl was adjusting her shirt, “Classy, Murphy.”  

“Thanks, Bell,” he said, “Uh, Clarke... Hey. Do you mind staying at O’s tonight? I sorta need my room...”  

As the girl he was with hung on his arm, Murphy gave Clarke an edgy look. It was clear that he wasn’t going to force Clarke out, but he certainly wanted to hook up with this chick.  

“Yeah. Totally, Murphy...” She said, not sounding at all bothered by it, “can I get a ride over there, though?” 

 “And can we stop at McDonald's?” Bellamy added, smiling down at Clarke, who mouthed a thank you.  

 

* * *

 

They ended up stopping at the McDonald's by O's place, so Clarke told Murphy to go home and get laid. After Clarke had the best fucking fries of her life, she and Bellamy stopped at 7-11, where Bellamy proceeded to mix all the flavors of Slurpee together- making a bit more of a mess than they should have. Walking back to O’s from there, Clarke just drank her Slurpee and stole looks at her companion, “So where are you staying?” she asked, trying to remember if he had said anything earlier about it. 

“Actually, I’ve been crashing on O’s couch for a few nights.”  

“Oh, really?”  

“Yeah, it’s cheaper than a hotel,” he said, taking a bite of licorice, “Although, tonight, I’m not sure if I  _want_  to be there.”  

“Why not?” suddenly catching his drift, she nodded, “Oh, Lincoln?” 

“Is that his name? I hate him already.”  

“What? Why? Because he’s a little older than Octavia?” 

“No. It’s because he’s a guy, with a pulse... and O’s my little sister,” Bellamy said, genuinely looking concerned, “I mean, if he’s respectful, I guess I can get behind that. But I have been taking care of my baby sister for a long time, and I can’t help but worry.”  

“That’s actually... really sweet.” Clarke said, smiling to herself, “I know Octavia thinks the world of you... Even if you aren’t the best influence in the world.” 

At that, Bellamy took a double take, “What, I am a great influence!”  

“Sure you are... Anyway, Octavia went to Lincoln’s- so no awkward noises for big brother.”  

As they walked, Clarke became more and more aware of the fact that she and Bellamy were headed to the same place, together... With no one else around. Had tonight somehow been a trek into some strange alternate reality? One where Clarke and Bellamy got along? A reality where she wasn’t too shy to talk to him, where she impulsively kissed him. Clarke and Bellamy stole glances at one another, all the while avoiding locking eyes.  

“Here it is,” he said, pointing to O’s apartment. The brownie from earlier must have been wearing off because as Clarke tried to open the door, the keys were shaking in her hand. It was a two bedroom, but O’s roommate had already moved out- leaving her bed behind when she went back to Colorado. And there was also a couch.  

So, plenty of room for both Clarke and Bellamy to sleep in their own spots, of course.  

So why the fuck were the keys shaking in Clarke’s hand right now? And why did a warm shiver erupt on her spine when Bellamy’s hand touched the small of her back? 

“Need help?” he asked in a low voice, his warm breath on Clarke’s neck. Biting her lip, she nodded. Instead of him taking the keys, he just positioned his hand over hers and opened the lock. Turning toward him, Clarke's nose brushed his, “Uh, you should have these... Since you’re staying here.” As she spoke, her lips almost grazed his, and she could feel her heartbeat speeding up. Feeling dizzy, she took a step back and handed him the keys before she entered the apartment. By now, if Octavia was coming home, she’d be here. And that awareness made Clarke even more nervous.

“I’ll, uh, brush my teeth," she mumbled.

"Right."

She could almost feel the air of disappointment, as she slinked past Bellamy and closed the bathroom door. Knowing where everything was, she quickly washed off her makeup, and pulled out the traveler’s toothbrush and paste she had purchased at 7-11. Staring at herself in the mirror, she brushed her teeth a bit more aggressively than she needed to. When she was done, she considered what Bellamy had said earlier.  

_She deserved to have some fun, didn’t she?_

Walking out of the bathroom, she couldn’t breathe. There was Bellamy, completely naked, fishing some fresh boxers out of his duffle. Once he put them on, he turned around and threw a t-shirt on, however, not before Clarke was able to get a good look at his abs and chest.

“Do you want a t-shirt?” he asked, offering an AC/DC shirt from his bag.  

“Is it clean?”  

“It might smell like me, but I didn’t sweat in it or anything.”  

“Fair enough,” she conceded. Without another thought, Clarke pulled her blue dress up and over her head, letting it drop to the floor. Taking the t-shirt from his hand, Clarke enjoyed his blown pupils and gobsmacked expression. After she got the shirt on, she unclipped her bra, and pulled it out of the arm, “Where are you sleeping?”  

“Uh...” was all he could say before he swallowed hard, and stared at Clarke’s bra, as it hung from her finger. 

So, he was speechless.  

 _Good._   


	3. Track Three: The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp here is a rather gratuitous hookup for our OTP. 
> 
> Great sex apparently freaks Clarke out- and Bellamy feels things, and thinks that his feelings are unrequited.

“Uh...” 

Bellamy forgot to how to speak- he had just seen most of Clarke’s perfect porcelain skin, as her dress was suddenly off of her- then his shirt was covering that skin. And while Clarke stood there, in his shirt, her bra hanging from her fingertips, he couldn’t help but think about the fact that his shirt was on her skin.  

God, he wanted it to be his mouth. Or his hands.  

But did she want that too?  

“I’m uh, I’m sleeping on the pull-out couch.” 

“Oh, okay,” she said, “bathroom’s all yours.”    

With that, she walked away and went into the guest room. Bellamy showered and brushed his teeth. Throwing on just his boxers, he started drying his hair with a towel. When he got out of the bathroom, he was surprised to find Clarke by the entrance to the apartment. It also happened to be in front of the kitchen island- she was now searching for an outlet for her phone, and Bellamy tried not to stare at her as she leaned forward and he could see her cotton panties under his shirt she was wearing.  

“I thought you went to bed?” 

“Had to charge my phone.”  

“Clarke, there are outlets in the room, aren’t there?” he asked, hoping to gauge exactly why she was out here, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like the view...”  

Looking away, Clarke hooked some of her blonde hair behind her ear. God, she was so cute, “Do you? Like the view, I mean?” As if steeling herself, she looked up at him, absentmindedly biting her lip.

“You don’t do this very often do you?” Bellamy asked, while he finished drying his hair. He then slung the towel over his shoulder and stepped forward. 

“Do what?”

Her crystal-blue eyes stared up at him innocently. When he got close enough to her, his hands found her waist easily enough. He felt her breath hitch under his fingers. 

“You know Clarke, you don’t seem like the type to try to hook up with someone.” 

“Honestly... it’s been a while,” she said, her fingers trailing up his bare chest, “I just don’t want something complicated... I’m not looking for another Finn.” 

“If you want me to stop you- to tell you this is a bad idea,” he said, his eyes meeting hers, and his hands venturing under the shirt, spanning the warm expanse of her back, “I don't think I can do that, Clarke.”  

 _“Good,”_ she said, weaving her fingers through his hair, and pulling him down into a kiss. It was different than the kiss she had pulled him into earlier. This one was purposeful. She knew exactly what she was doing- she wanted it, too. As the kiss grew heated, Bellamy grabbed her thighs and placed her on the island. If a hook up was what she wanted, he was going at least make it good for her.  

Lifting the shirt up and over her head, he threw it on the ground. He then kissed her neck, her shoulder, and trailed his way to her breast. With both hands he cupped them, gently swirling his thumbs over her nipples, all the while continuing to kiss her. As she leaned back, she pushed her chest against hands and moaned. Ducking his head, he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked it- gently licking above and beneath it.  

“God, Bellamy,” she said, letting out a breathy moan. When lightly bit her pebbles peak she let out a surprised yelp, “fuck!”  

With his forehead against her shoulder, he enjoyed the noises she made as his hand rubbed against her pussy. Venturing under her underwear, his long fingers found her entrance. God, she was warm, wet, and ready. Carefully, he inserted a finger, while she clawed against his back with her own. As she pulled his face up to kiss her again, he put another finger in her and began to plunge them in and out of her. Her breath hitched, and her hips worked against him.  

 _“mmhm, Bellamy...”_  

“Yeah?” he asked, his thumb lightly grazing over her clit- which made her legs shake, and her abs convulse. All the while, she let out a lovely moan.  

“Wait. Stop.” immediately his fingers stilled. Pulling them out, he apologized, while she hopped off the counter.  To his surprise, she immediately grabbed her underwear, and pulled it off, “No- I didn’t mean stop- I just meant, give me a sec.”  

“Oh,” he laughed, as her hand ventured under his boxers, and she wrapped it around his dick. Pumping his shaft, he found himself swaying into her touch, “Fuck, Clarke. That feels good.”  

“Good,” she sighed against his chest, finding his nipple, she used her warm tongue to lavish it with attention. Between the stroke of her tongue on his nipples, and the stroking against his dick, Bellamy was close to the edge. 

“Clarke- please, I’m gonna finish in your hand. And I- I don't want that for you.”  

“Bed?” she asked, to which he readily agreed. Picking her up, he carried her to the other room. Setting her on the bed, he pulled his boxers down. With bedroom eyes, she pulled him over herself. If he weren’t already so god damn turned on, and if she wasn’t already wrapping her legs around him, encouraging his hips toward hers, then he would have gone down on her for a good hour. But she seemed to want it quick and dirty tonight- so he gave her just that.  

Moving his hips around until he found her opening, he settled there and began to push himself inside her. She was tight but felt good. She whimpered softly, and the further he pushed into her, the more she moaned. Threading his fingers into her hair, and holding her hip, he pushed himself the rest of the way. Pumping in and out of her, he kissed her neck, and enjoyed the feeling of Clarke’s hands in his hair, as her hips swayed against him in time.  

Fuck, it was good. 

 _So, good._   

As the heat and friction intensified, Bellamy got up on his knees, and pulled her hips up and pounded hard into her. As he pushed himself deeper and deeper into her, his thumb found her clit- he watched her face, and her sounds spurred both of them to completion. Clenching around him, she came with a cry. Her climax made her pussy flutter around him and he couldn’t help but bottom out and spill into her- feeling his orgasm from head to toe.  

Completely spent, Bellamy laid on his back and breathed deeply. At some point, he was aware of Clarke pulling a blanket over the two of them, and laying her head on his chest. Falling asleep to the sweet smell of cherry blossom and the sound of her breathing was more relaxing than he would have expected.

Waking up alone in bed, Bellamy heard Octavia yelling about the panties in the living room, and that was more than enough for him to be snapped out of whatever connection he thought he and Clarke had made last night.  He couldn't believe that she had actually left- she had screwed him, and just walked out without even saying goodbye.

It was pretty clear there were no feelings on her part. 

 

* * *

 

Clarke had fallen asleep- in Bellamy’s arms, no less.  

Part of her had wished she could have blamed what had happened on drinking or on the pot, but she couldn’t. By the time they started to get physical Clarke had completely sobered up. She was glad for it, too. It was the first time she had actually cum in well...  _a long time._   

But as hot as it was, when Clarke woke up, she freaked out. Bellamy was holding her like this wasn't their first time together, and she felt overwhelmed, to say the least. After slowly extracting herself from his hold, she gathered her stuff, washed up, and left. Looking up the bus line, she realized she had forgotten her underwear and started to walk back, only to change her mind when she saw Octavia headed back into her apartment building.  

She had other matters to attend to as well- she had to go get the morning after pill. Apparently, they had gotten caught up in the moment. Clarke had no idea what Bellamy’s std status was, she also had no idea why the fuck she wouldn’t ask him to use a condom. It wasn’t like her, she even had some in her purse.  

It had just been so hot.  

But that wasn't an excuse. Finding the nearest Walgreens, Clarke slipped in, grabbed a bag of plain underwear, and the Plan B card from the wall. Taking it up to the pharmacist, he rang her up, “If you have insurance, you can save up to forty-seven bucks on that.”  

Rolling her eyes, she got her wallet out and presented her insurance card. Thankfully, it was only ten bucks for everything after that, so she could use the rest of her cash for gas in Murphy’s van. Slipping into the bathroom, Clarke pulled on the pair of underwear. Part of her wondered if they were just going to get dirty again. She’d never had sex without a condom- she’d always forced Finn to use one, too. Somehow the idea of Bellamy’s cum dripping out of her... made her ache between her thighs. That brought back memories- memories of his lips on her, his hands... his body...

No, no. She had to stop.

 _She had to turn it off._  

She couldn’t let last night happen again. Absolutely not. It had been out of character for her. It had been good, yes- possibly even the best sex she'd experienced. That didn’t change the fact that it was not like her in so many ways. Drugs, unprotected sex, fucking Bellamy.  Swallowing hard, Clarke tried not to think about the fact that tomorrow she would be in a van with Bellamy (and Octavia) for sixteen hours.  

 _What the hell had she done?_  

 

 

 


	4. Track Four: Make Up My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke can't decide exactly what she wants to do about the "Bellamy situation". She continues to be a bit impulsive.

When Clarke got home, Murphy was in the kitchen shirtless and cooking eggs, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were doing the walk of shame, Griffin,” he said, zeroing in on his friend as she pulled the orange juice out of the fridge.  

“Ha, ha. Very funny,” she said, “Hey is Finn here?”  

“Nope. Went to his Dads for the weekend...” smiling slyly though, he added, “but, the girl I was with yesterday, Emori... She’s here. Try not to judge us too harshly?”  

“Trust me, Murphy. I’m not judging anyone right now,” Clarke said dryly, making a b-line for her room. Setting her orange juice down, she opened the box of Plan B. Reading everything carefully, she followed the instructions and took the pill. After doing so, she put the box in the bag and tied it up. Feeling a bit more at ease, she laid down on the bed and tried to take a nap. Finn must not have slept here recently, because the room didn’t smell like him, not really.  

As Clarke tossed and turned, she caught the scent of Bellamy on her skin. Flashbacks filled her mind- his skin on hers, his lips, his tongue. Her hands in his dark hair, pulling at his curls... His fingers inside her...  

“Clarke!”  

“Huh? What?” she asked, waking up from a rather racy dream she had been having, “Murphy?” 

“Hey, uh, it’s Octavia... she’s on the phone,” he offered, “You left your cell in the kitchen.”  

“Oh, thanks,” Clarke said, rubbing her eyes, and taking the phone from him, “Hey, O.” 

“Oh my god, Clarke!” she yelled, almost frantic. 

“Octavia, calm down... what’s going on?”  

 _“I found the underwear...”_  

 _Shit._ The underwear... _Her underwear,_  “Octavia, I’m sorry, I-” 

“Why are you apologizing? Bellamy’s the one who brought a rando to my apartment- with you here. Honestly, I’m surprised... He may be a flirt, but he knows better than to have sex with strangers in someone else’s house.” 

Clarke choked there, feeling a bit bad about not telling the truth. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry. I can't believe he brought a girl home with you here. You better believe I gave him hell for it, too.” 

“It’s okay, O. It really is.”  

“It can’t be that okay- if you were so uncomfortable, you had to leave.”  

She had a point there... Clarke almost wondered if she should tell her friend the truth. But something stopped her, “Look, Bellamy didn’t do anything wrong, okay? I’m fine. We’re all good.” 

“Yeah, everyone is okay except for him, apparently,” she muttered, “he seemed disappointed that his hook up left. I swear he’s an idiot sometimes.”  

“Well, we all can be idiots sometimes.”  

“True,” Octavia laughed, “Okay... So, don’t judge me Clarke, but I decided to stay in Boston for the summer...” 

“For that guy? Lincoln?”  

“Well, that’s part of it. I mean, we just hung out all night- didn't even have sex...” she mused, “I really like him. And I found out that I got the job at the Clinic, so I’ll have a steady paycheck, and I won’t have to lose my apartment. With how things are back home, between me and my mom, I think it’s best I stay.”  

“I get it, O,” Clarke agreed, although she was a bit sad- After all, she had been looking forward to spending the summer with her friend. Now she would only have Maya and Bellamy’s group of friends to hang with. And well, that sounded potentially awkward, “I’m happy for you.” 

“Thanks,” Octavia said, “I’ll make sure Bellamy knows he needs to keep you entertained.”  

 _Oh, god. Wasn’t that exactly what she needed?_  

 

* * *

 

“Alright, big brother, Murphy’s here!” Bellamy finished packing up his duffle, as Octavia- clad in running gear, and panting- came through the door. Taking out her headphones she smiled at her brother, “And don’t forget those panties- you aren’t leaving them here.”  

He couldn’t help but chuckle. Yeah, it had been awkward, but worse had happened in his lifetime, hadn’t it?  

“I- uh. Thanks, I think.”  

“Anyway, say hi to mom for me.” 

“I will,” thinking it over, Bellamy added, “O, if you come back to Arkadia, you can stay with me. You don’t have to stay with mom and Joe, okay?”  

“Thanks, Bell,” she said, her eyes softening, and a weak smile cracking through. With his own soft expression, Bellamy wrapped his sister in a hug. It was true, she was the most important person to him in the world. Bellamy couldn’t imagine his life without O, and he was glad to have seen her.  

“Have a good summer- come visit Arkadia, okay?” 

“Whatever. You come visit me after your tour?”  

“Deal.”  

With that, Bellamy picked up his duffle and made his way out to the van. Murphy’s new girl, Emori, was in the passenger’s seat. She had decided to “do something crazy”, and come to Arkadia with them. Apparently, she was gonna stay in his room at the band house. Bellamy had to hope that there wouldn’t be any drama there. Opening up the trunk, he found Jasper, Maya, Monty, and Harper staring back at him- they were all piled into the farthest seat back.  

“Hey, Bellamy!” Harper said, smiling wide- she was probably already stoned, honestly. She, Jasper and Maya liked to ‘Wake and Bake’.  

“What are you guys all doing back here?”  

“Havin’ a good ‘ol orgy,” Jasper laughed.  

“Oh, hell no,” Monty chimed in, “Clarke’s in the middle seat. So, we figured you two could sit up there, and we would squeeze back here.”  

“Ah, Clarke,” Bellamy felt his heart skip a beat. How had he not known that she would be riding back with them? Closing the trunk door, he bit his lip and leaned back. Taking a deep breath, he tried to ready himself to see her. Just twenty-four hours ago, she had basically snuck out of bed and left him completely alone. He could pretend nothing happened between them, couldn’t he?  

“Bellamy?”  

He opened his eyes as her soft voice met his ears. Looking at her, he tried not to convey his feelings. The fact that he had felt almost perfected with her, it had to mean nothing, right?  

“Hey, Clarke.”  

“I uh, I was just saying bye to O, I can't believe she isn’t coming with,” she said, looking about as awkward as he felt at the moment, “I had a lot planned out for the summer with her. Guess I’ll just be bored.”  

“I’m sure you’ll find something to do, Clarke.”  

 _Or someone to do_.

  

* * *

 

“I hope you don’t mind sitting next to me,” Clarke said, pushing herself as close to the window as possible, “There weren’t many options, I guess.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.”  

As the group left Boston the silence was suffocating. That is until Jasper threw his iPod at Bellamy’s head and told him to plug it in. He did just that, and the entire van erupted into a little party. Maya offered lemonade to everyone, which Clarke and Bellamy readily accepted- only to find there was booze in it. Then someone started to pass around a pipe.  

“Isn’t this illegal?”  

“Uh, yeah,” Jasper said as if Clarke was a two-year-old for asking.  

“No, I mean open intoxicants,” she said, even though she was still holding on to her lemonade. 

At that, Harper piped up, “It’s not like Murphy is drinking or smoking weed. It’s fine, Clarke.”  

Looking at Bellamy, Clarke took a gulp of the vodka lemonade and then handed it to him. Without taking his eyes off of her, he did the same and passed it back.  

“God. Eye-fuck much?”  

Taken aback, Clarke stared up at Emori, who was wordlessly asking for the lemonade. With a chuckle, Bellamy passed it to her. No one else seemed to catch what she said, which was good. However, every time Clarke looked at Bellamy she felt butterflies in her stomach.  

Clarke had thought having sex with Bellamy would get rid of that, but apparently not.  

It just seemed to make her want him even more.  

When the pipe made it up to her, Clarke politely refused, although Bellamy took a few hits, before passing it along. Clarke had never smoked anything in her life. A brownie was one thing, but smoking... that would be bad for her lungs, right?  

Clarke watched Bellamy as the tension from earlier seemed to ease out of him. Turning to her he smiled and looked her up and down- no doubt he was picturing her naked. Feeling the familiar ache between her thighs, Clarke became aware of how slick she was- how hard her nipples became under his gaze. Zipping up her jacket, she tried to hide it. Suddenly, he was taking his jacket off, and rolling it up. Seeing the AC/DC shirt on him, she couldn’t help but blush.  

“Here, a pillow.” he offered.  

“Thanks,” she said, genuinely surprised, leaning against the window she burrowed into Bellamy’s sweater. With her eyes closed, she felt her legs being lifted up, as strong and familiar hands gently set her legs in what must have a been Bellamy’s lap. With a slight smile on her lips, Clarke eventually nodded off to sleep.  

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Clarke... Time to wake up.”  

As she stirred from her slumber, she asked how long she had been sleeping.

“Six hours,” Bellamy said, smiling at her rather tenderly, “You seemed exhausted.”  

“I haven’t been sleeping well the last few days,” she said, sitting up.  

“Yeah, I’m aware of the lack of sleep a couple of nights ago,” he said, biting his lip slightly. 

 _“Bellamy.”_  

“Oh, fine...”  

“Where are we?”  

“Albany, New York...” he answered, “Grounder Pounder is playing here tomorrow, they’re opening for Odesza.” 

“Odesza? No way!”  

“Yup- and we got tickets... and hotel rooms if you don’t mind staying with me. All the other guys are staying with their girlfriends... so...”  

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Clarke said, “Can I shower?”  

“Of course,” he said, smiling, helping her up and out of the vehicle. Clarke had to admit Bellamy was a bit more chivalrous than she expected. Giving her his jacket, letting her set her legs on him, helping her out of the van. As he helped her jump down from the old thing, he held onto her hand a little longer than necessary. In turn, her heart began to pound in her chest.  

“Okay, we are in room two thirty-one, I, uh, brought your bags in already.” 

“Thanks, Bellamy,” she said, smiling up at him, as he walked her into the hotel, his hand settled at the small of her back, and Clarke could feel goosebumps erupting under it.  

“So, don’t get mad at me, but they didn’t have any doubles left.” 

At first Clarke was about to ask what he meant, but as the door to the hotel room opened, it became clear: There was one king-sized bed in the middle of the room.  

“I am happy to sleep on the floor, or in the chair. Or whatever,” he said, walking in, flipping on another light on the other side of the room. Biting her lip, Clarke considered that. Briefly making eyecontact, Clarke smiled and walked around Bellamy. She grabbed her duffle bag, and made her way to the bathroom. As she showered, she tried not to think of Bellamy in the next room. Was she really going to make him sleep on the floor- when they had already slept together?  

Turning off the water, Clarke wrapped a towel around herself and then ran another one through her hair. Shaking her head at herself, she grabbed a couple of condoms out of her duffle bag and walked into the other room. Looking up from the TV, Bellamy’s jaw dropped, as Clarke walked over to him. 

“So...” she said, smiling and biting her lip, “I didn’t see the point of getting dressed.”  

“Clarke-” he cleared his throat, “I thought you didn’t want-”  

“It to be complicated. That’s what I don’t want. But, you... I wouldn’t mind a little more of you.”  

“And you’ll still be here when I wake up?”  

“Did that bother you? Me leaving?”  

“Call me old fashioned, but I like to make sure my partners are good and satisfied the next morning.”  

Well, damn. That was actually really sweet. Holding out the brightly colored foil-wrapped condoms, Clarke continued, “my only stipulation... we use one of these this time?” 

“Oh, fuck,” Bellamy said, his going wide, “we didn’t-” 

“Don’t worry. I got some Plan B that morning.” 

A look of relief washed over him, and Clarke walked over to the bed, and put the condoms on the table, “Of course if you don’t want to, I won’t be offended.” 

After a long pause, Bellamy got up and walked over to her. Cupping her cheek, Bellamy leaned in to kiss her when there was a knock on the door. 

“Bell!”  

“What, Jasper?”  

“Uh, we gotta get the stuff outta the van. The front desk lady said there have been some break-ins lately.”  

Working his jaw, Bellamy looked disappointed at Jasper’s timing. However, not taking his eyes off of Clarke, he responded, “Okay. I’m coming.”  


	5. Track Five: Thinking of Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Clarke can't have Bellamy, she'll have the next best thing- her own fingers and her imagination.
> 
> I guess warning for masturbation and accidental voyerism?

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._ Clarke thought to herself, as Bellamy slipped out of the room without another glance. Part of her consoled herself with the fact that he had no choice. However, another part of her- the rational part- said it was for the best. Their hook-up should really remain a one-time thing, even if she kept getting turned on just by being around him.  

Dodging that bullet, she slipped into her baby blue boy shorts and matching tank top, and turned down the bed. She wasn’t going to make Bellamy sleep on the floor, or in the chair, but she also wasn’t about to lay there waiting for him to come back and sleep with her. With one last look at the condoms, she put them in the drawer next to the bed.  

Tossing and turning, sleep evaded Clarke. Staring up at the ceiling, light bounced off of it as her phone lit up. It was a text from Maya.  

 _Clarke, where are you? Come to 410! We’re all hanging out._  

All of them, huh? Bellamy included?  

Clarke shook her head. Why was she being like this? One moment dangling sex in front of him- the next wanting to push him as far away as possible? Was she afraid?  

Her relationship with Finn had been just fine. And that was it- just fine. Mediocre, really. She had faked more orgasms than she cared to admit. Most of the time, she would finish herself off after he fell asleep next to her. Their friendship was the best part of it- Finn did make her laugh, he had been easy going, too. If there was more physical chemistry, more of a spark, she could have seen herself saying yes when he asked her to marry him.  

With Bellamy, it was different. It was all twisting of nerves, heat and raw sexual tension. She couldn’t imagine herself being with him in the long run though.  

Was he sweet? Yes.  

Was he handsome? Absolutely. 

But she knew the rumors. Bellamy Blake had apparently screwed half of her senior class- and now she was just another notch on his belt. The idea of that made Clarke feel a little sick. That is until she realized he was a notch on hers, too- and a good notch at that.  

Beyond that, who was to say that the rumors were true? Maybe Bellamy was a better guy than she thought? And maybe he was upfront about his intentions with other girls? The truth was, she barely knew the guy. All Clarke really knew about him was that was easy to talk to, and his body felt so good when it touched hers.  

Her phone lit up again.  

Maya:  _Bell said you should come and hang out with us... he’s saving you some pizza._  

Clarke couldn’t handle seeing him right now... not after her awkward overture earlier. After texting Maya saying she was tired and going to go to bed, she turned her phone over.   

She knew she shouldn’t lie to her friends. But, Clarke was anything but tired right now, and hell if Bellamy was going to be in Jasper and Maya’s room for a bit, she knew what she could do to unwind.  

Thinking about the other night with Bellamy, Clarke began to touch herself... first it was light, barely there touches on her inner thighs, her waist, her neck. As her craving built, she bit her lip and began to rub her breasts, her stomach, the hollow of her thighs. Letting one hand grind against her lower lips, she ran her other hand through her hair. Spreading her herself wide, she pulled down her shorts began to rub herself. Venturing deeper and deeper, she worked her hips against her hand.  

Think about Bellamy’s lips on her tits, she licked her finger and toyed with her nipple. Surprising herself, her breath hitched, and she arched into her own touch. It was as if she could feel him there, kissing her neck, practically worshiping her breasts. Plunging her own fingers into her entrance, she whined in frustration.  

Her fingers weren’t big enough or long enough. She couldn’t get off like this- at least not the way she wanted to. She wanted to be full like she had been the other day. She wanted that burn, that stretch. But instead, she was empty. Closing her eyes, she plunged another finger into herself, and then another- there, that was better. As the heat built up, she pulled the blankets off herself and palmed her breast through her tank top. 

Once she was nice and slick and felt full, she let her fingers settle on her clit. Swirling hard against herself, she rutted and moved her hips until she came with a loud shaky moan- all the while she pictured Bellamy’s face between her thighs. Without a thought, her lips uttered his name, as she rode out her climax.

Feeling satisfied, she pulled her shorts up, laid back and enjoyed the aftershocks of her orgasm. Hearing a noise near the entrance of the room, her eyes shot open. 

There was Bellamy, standing there, in the dark with a beer and pizza in his hands. For a minute, they stared at one another until he gathered himself enough to speak,  _“Jesus-fuck, Clarke.”_  


	6. Track Six: The Second Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After catching Clarke pleasing herself, Bellamy assumes she is going to call it a night.  
> However, Clarke has other plans.

Swallowing hard Clarke wished the ground would open up and swallow both her and this king-sized bed whole. Bellamy was still staring at her- his eyes blown-wide and he had to shake himself before he had the where with all to set the pizza and beer on the table. Suddenly feeling shy, Clark pulled the blankets over herself, “I’m sorry.”  

At that Bellamy’s head sprung up and he honed in on her, “What? Why?” 

“I uh... I guess that was disrespectful. We’re sharing this room... I shouldn’t have...”  

“It was hot, Clarke,” he said, and looking over him she could see the evidence of his arousal in his pants. Licking her lips, she felt an ache in her belly... It wasn’t a craving for her own pleasure, no. It’s a craving for his- she wanted to blow him, “I- uh... I’m gonna go take a cold shower.”  

As he began to walk away, Clarke sat up.  

“Bellamy, wait. Stop.”  

“What’s wrong?”  

“Nothing,” she said, standing up, “you don’t have to go and take a cold shower. You can come over here if you want.”  

For a moment he looked at her as if she was trying to trick him, “Clarke, you obviously already got off.” 

“Yeah, I got off, while thinking about you,” she said, “So if you want- I'll give you something to think about.”  

“Oh, you’ve given me plenty just now, trust me, Clarke.”  

“Fine, if you don’t want a blow job, suit yourself, Bellamy,” she conceded, turning back to the bed.  

Next thing she knew, those big hands she had just been thinking about are spanning her stomach as Bellamy’s lips land warm and wet kisses on her neck. She’s already sensitive from playing with herself earlier, and her center feels tight and ready. As his hands come up to cup her breasts, she lightly pushes her ass against his erect cock. She drags herself lightly over him and he lets out a deep moan. 

“God, Clarke,” he said, one hand fishing under her shorts to play aimlessly with her pussy, “you’re so gorgeous.”  

At that, she turns herself around to face him. Clarke has been called a lot of things by men (and women)- beautiful, hot, and sexy were all compliments she received. But no one had ever said it the way Bellamy had just said that to her. Looking up at him, Clarke tried not to read too much into the way he was looking at her. Shoving it aside, she grabbed his belt and unfastened it. Helping him take his shirt off, she kissed a trail down his chest. 

Guiding him to turn, she walked him back to the bed and unzipped his pants. After she pulled down both his pants and boxers, she took in the sight of him, perfectly and beautifully naked before her. Dropping to her knees, she took a moment to stroke him- all the while taking stock of his facial expressions.  

In one soft movement, she licked the underside of his cock, from hilt to tip. Feeling him shiver beneath her tongue and hands gave Clarke a sense of satisfaction. Taking him in fully, she worked him until he was panting against her. Losing control, his hands wove into her hair, and she let the head of his cock hit the back of her throat over and over again.  

“Oh my god, Clarke,” he moaned, as he struggled to control his hips against her. Clarke could feel his precum in her mouth- licking the head of his cock, she felt his shaft pulsate above her tongue, “Clarke... Stop.” 

She did as she was asked, letting her lips pop against his head as she released him, “everything okay?”  

“Yeah, I just almost came in your mouth,” he said, stepping back until his legs hit the bed. Falling down on it, Clarke walked over to him. 

“That would be fine with me,” she said, enjoying the floored expression on his face. Laying down next to him, she began to toy with him again- this time, she just gently ran her hand up and down his shaft, “So, do you want me to blow you some more?”  

“Honestly, Clarke?” he asked, stilling her hand, “I want to see you cum again.”  

Blushing under his gaze, Clarke bit her lip. Well, if it was what he wanted. Taking off her top, she laid back like before, and began to play with herself. As Clarke touched herself, she watched Bellamy’s eyes widen. As she began to work her hand against her pussy, Bellamy groaned. Looking down, she saw that he was also touching himself- and fuck that was hot.  

Sticking two fingers in her shorts, Clarke began to play with her over-sensitive clit. As her abs convulsed, she felt the weight on the bed shift. As lips began to kiss up her leg, her knee, her thighs, Clarke shook under them. In moments, Bellamy was on top of her, rubbing himself against her short, kissing her lips, her neck, her breasts. Working his way back down, he peeled open her legs. With dark eyes, he gently pulled down her shorts.  

“God, Clarke... you’re so wet,” he said, as he rubbed his hand against her. Letting out a small laugh, it quickly became a yelp, as his lips and tongue flew directly into her pussy. Nosing at her folds, Bellamy mapped out her secret place with his tongue. Setting his lips and tongue to her clit, she felt his fingers slide into her- and shit, it was everything she had wanted.  

Wrapping his arms around her legs, he held her to his face until her hands flew into his hair, and she was thrusting her hips hard against his face. As she fell apart, he licked her through her climax and come down. Crawling back up her body, he was so gentle with her- caressing her hips, her breast, giving her soft and lingering kisses. As his length pressed against her, she almost forgot to intervene again.  

“Wait. Bellamy,” as he stilled, Clarke felt around for the drawer. Opening it, he caught her drift and found the foil-wrapped contraceptives. Clarke watched as he ripped open the packaging, and covered himself. Working himself a little bit, he smiled at her when he was ready. Resuming his position, he pushed into her, as he buried his face in her neck. In no time, she was finishing for a third time that night, and with her clenching around him, he finished too.  

After their tryst, Clarke tells herself that she'll quit fucking Bellamy Blake when she gets home.  Yeah, she'll do that. So, no need to ruin their fun now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! I swear there is a plot somewhere in this story... Maybe we'll see it in the next chapter... Anyway, enjoy the smut!


	7. Track Seven: Misconceptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke hits a nerve with Bellamy- and his emotions get the better of him. She gets to know a bit more about him... and it surprises her.

The next morning, Bellamy woke up to the sound of pencil scratching on paper. As he looked up, his eyes met Clarke’s. Taking her in, he couldn’t help but smile. She looked beautiful, with just a sheet covering her as she was sketching. When she smiled back, he felt his stomach flip.  

“You’re beautiful in the morning,” he said, lifting his head up. He had fallen asleep on his stomach- and couldn’t help but wish she was in his arms, instead of sketching. But she looked happy- and happy was a good look on her. 

“Good morning sleepy head,” she said, with a soft smile, “Don’t move too much.”  

“What, are you drawing me? Like one of your French girls?” Bellamy joked as he found her smooth leg under the blankets. Running his hand up and down her silky skin, he heard her breath hitch just before she relaxed into his touch.  

“Something like that,” she said, and he didn’t miss the flush on her cheeks, as her breathing became labored the more he touched her, “I like to keep track of my guilty pleasures.”  

That caught him off guard. Stilling his hand, he looked up at Clarke and with a serious voice, he asked her, “Why do I have to make you feel guilty? Why can’t I just be a pleasure, Clarke?”  

Stunned, she avoided his gaze and chewed on her lip. Something told him he wasn’t going to like what came next, “Well, first of all, you have- what, movie-star looks, Bellamy? Second, you’re not exactly my type. I mean, the sex is fantastic, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not like we have a future beyond this. You know with your band, and my schooling and everything- it's probably not compatible.”  

“Well, that’s good to know,” he said, getting up and grabbing his pants and boxers, “you know, we don’t wanna get ahead of ourselves. God, I can't believe I-” 

“Bellamy, wait.”  

“No, Clarke. I’m gonna shower,” he said ignoring her and walking toward the bathroom.  

“Bellamy, it’s not like I was dishonest. I told you I didn’t want anything complicated,” she said, looking lost.  

“Yeah, and I thought that was because you were getting over your ex, not because you were ashamed of me, Clarke.”  

“What, I’m not-” 

“Oh, don’t lie to me, Clarke,” He sneered a bit more harshly than intended, “It’s not that you don’t want anything complicated- it's that you don’t want anything complicated with _me._ ”  

“look, I really think you misinterpreted what I meant-" 

"I really don't think I did," he said, letting the bathroom door slam behind him.   

Turning on the hot water, he couldn’t help but think about what happened last night. The way that they had moved together, the way that they had connected. Surely that was a special thing, right? Bellamy had never had a woman turn him on the way Clarke did- her confidence in bed, her meekness otherwise... and not to mention her body... She was a fucking bombshell- thoughts of last night popped into his head, mostly against his will-

 _‘Honestly Clarke, I want to see you cum again...’_  the woman had literally started putting on a show for him. He began to get hard again just thinking about it. 

He had to admit he had a crush on her for a long time. Clarke always reminded him of home, of simpler times. He doubted she remembered their conversations when she would be waiting for her Dad after music lessons, but he had always stayed after his last student left, just to talk to her. She was always so shy and mysterious- he wondered what was going on in that mind of hers.  

But now he had really gotten to talk to her, and he felt like he knew her. Well, at least a little bit. He definitely knew her body... and how exactly was he supposed to pretend this had never happened? He figured the best he could do was make himself scarce so that she wasn’t uncomfortable with his presence.  

Running his hands through his wet hair, Bellamy finally opened his eyes. As he started to shampoo his hair, there was a soft knock on the door. What did Clarke need some hand soap or something?  

“Yeah?”  

“Can I come in?” As he heard her voice- she sounded soft and timid. Not at all like the confident woman he had been with last night, “Bellamy...” 

“Fine,” He said, unable to deny her anything.  

When she came in, he saw the outline of her pink flesh through the shower glass. Oh, she was still naked. At least she wasn't shy.

“I- uh... I wanted to tell you that I am not ashamed of you, Bellamy. I just, I don’t know where my life is going, and I am not ready for a new boyfriend. But what happened between us, it was meaningful. I don’t want you to think it wasn’t.”  

Ah, the woman knew how to break him down. Opening the curtain, he poked his head out, “You gonna stay out there all dirty? Or are you gonna let me wash you?” he asked, challenging her. She looked taken aback, but pushed herself off the wall nonetheless, and took his hand.  

As she stood across from him, he leaned in and kissed her softly. “Turn around,” he said, and she did.  

She was so trusting- it was sweet. 

Pouring a little shampoo on her hair, he began to knead it through, “How about this, Clarke. We have this weekend if you want...”  

“Mhmm?”  

“and when we get back to Arkadia, we can pretend nothing ever happened, if that’s what you want.”  

“I don’t want to pretend nothing ever happened, Bellamy,” she said, turning around, “I just don’t want to broadcast it. I think it can be kinda fun having a secret, don’t you?”  

“I suppose so,” he said, knowing full well that he already had a secret. One that he would have to pretend wasn’t true- he was falling for her. And hard.  

Maybe he could use this weekend to show her how good being with him could be.  

 

* * *

 

It’s not leading him on if she’s honest.  

It’s not leading him on if they both agree that they’ll keep it secret.  

It’s just fun, right?  

Yet she melted into him when he washed her hair, and then her body. After she rinsed off, she returned the favor. Clarke honestly couldn’t believe that she was doing this- and that she didn’t feel shy or ashamed about it. There was something about Bellamy that put her at ease. and when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, she let him.  

Much to her surprise, they don’t actually fuck in the shower.  

But it was nice. They touched, they talked, they laughed.  

They also kissed- but it didn't go beyond that.  

And somehow, that felt so much more intimate than fucking.  

When they finished, he asked her if she wanted to get breakfast. Eyeing him closely, she wondered if he was trying to win her over or something. But, that would be ridiculous. He’s in a band, he probably wants the freedom to hook up with whoever he wants- he definitely wasn't in the market for a girlfriend, right? He’s just being nice. 

So, she said yes, and they found a little brunch place a few streets down from the hotel. Bellamy actually looked pretty nice, wearing a light sweater, and dark denim jeans. She’d never seen him in glasses, but his thick-rimmed black ones made him look down-right respectable, and Clarke suddenly had the overwhelming desire to fuck him in a library, against a wall of bookcases. 

When he smiled at her, she could feel her cheeks burning.  

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, leaning in, he ran his fingers along the back of her hand.  

“Oh, you... and a stack of books.”  

At that, he raised his eyebrow and smirked, “The glasses?”  

“Yeah,” she couldn't help but hide her face. He didn't even have to ask- he knew he was currently the star of her sexual fantasy.  

“Noted, nerd chic does it for you.”  

“Well... that and...” she had to stop herself before she said  _you_. But the way he looks at her tells her that he already knew what she was going to say. 

“So, how long did you and your ex-boyfriend date?” 

With a skeptical air, she answered, “two years.”  

“Any other boyfriends?”  

“Um, one in High School- you might know him. Wells Jaha.”  

“The principal’s kid- no wonder you’re so scared of being caught with me,” he said, sipping his rum and coke, and letting out a small laugh.  

“What? Wells has nothing to do with us.”  

 _Us._ Had she really just said that?

“I mean you have a history of being a good girl. That’s all, Clarke. But that doesn’t explain Murphy,” he said squinting at her. 

“I told you, Murphy and I never dated.”  

“I know. But how did you become friends? I mean Murphy isn’t known for being the most personable being... How did he get best-friend status with Clarke Griffin?”  

“You say that like it’s a coveted, sacred position, Bellamy," she laughed, drinking her bloody mary. 

“Maybe it is,” he said, smiling at her, “maybe everything about you is special.” 

And damn, that downright made her blush.  

“Um...” she said, shaking her head, “Murphy and I met when some dick tried to harass me on the bike trail my freshman year at BU.”  

“Really? Murphy being the night in shining armor?”  

“Ha! Not exactly,” Clarke said smiling, “He started running on the same trail. Eventually, we started running together. He said he recognized me from Arkadia High- said we had to take care of our people. I was feeling homesick and that meant a lot to me. He was homesick, too, actually. So, we just started hanging out.”  

“That’s awesome.”  

“He says a lot of nice things about you,” Clarke said, “Even if my senior class didn’t.”  

“What did your senior class say about me, Clarke?” 

“That you’ve slept with half the girls in it-” 

“I swear- I dated one girl in your class. Gina...”  

“Crandon? Oh, that makes sense- she's all drama.”  

“Yeah, the drama comes back to haunt me,” he said, rolling his eyes, “I took her to her junior prom. We messed around a little- but I wasn’t into it. She got offended because I wouldn't have sex with her. So, she spread a bunch of rumors about me.”  

“Oh,” Clarke said, startled by that revelation, “I’m sorry, that’s awful Bellamy.”  

“I mean, it is what it is. And trust me, I’ve slept with enough women- but my number is not at all near what people seem to think it is.”  

“What is-” Clarke cleared her throat, feeling a bit guilty about her own curiosity, “what is your... number?”  

“You really want to know, Clarke?”  

She nodded- she was a glutton for punishment.   

“Including you,” he said looking up and counting, “Seven? One was a threesome though... so is that one or two? Most of those were just one-night stands- but, I don’t really like to do that. I had a girlfriend for a year once, that was nice.”  

“That’s it?”  

“That’s how many women I’ve had  _actual_ _sex_ with- I mean, I've made out with other girls- but it's always better with a connection, you know what I mean?” 

Actually, she didn't. Truthfully, Clarke liked sex. She enjoyed it- and frankly, she wasn't always picky about partners- but feelings... those usually made her uncomfortable. She could still remember the first time Finn tried to hold her hand, she got nauseous. When wells told her he loved her (in the middle of having sex), she had to stop. She had never dealt with those sort of overtures very well. 

"You okay?" Bellamy asked, looking concerned. 

"Uh, yeah, I just realized something," she said. Looking up at him though, she couldn't go down that rabbit hole- she didn't know him well enough, "it's not important."

"Okay... So, you know mine. Can I ask yours?"  

_Oh, her number..._

Biting her lip, Clarke blushed, “Including...” 

She looked up at him and found him smirking at her, “Oh god, now I feel like a slut. Nine men, four women. That I can remember."  

“Whoa.”  

For a moment she was afraid he was going to comment on her number. Clarke had always been a bit more sexually liberal... She definitely didn’t like romance as much as other women did- and it was her preference to just sleep with someone and get on with it. Finn had given her hell for that. He often made her feel like something was wrong with her- that she was somehow dirty for enjoying sex without strings. That was part of why she dated him for so long because she felt like she had to in order to validate herself.

“I know... I was a bit of a wh-”  

“Clarke, I’m not going to shame you for your sexuality- and you shouldn't either. As long as everyone involved was consenting adults, it’s none of my business. However, where the ladies are concerned... _nice,”_  he said smiling. 

“I swear to god, don’t you dare call me a unicorn, Bellamy Blake,” Clarke said.  

“Well you are special- but not just for your sexuality, Clarke.” he said, “There is much more to you than just that.”  

Well, what could she say to that? Staring at Bellamy, she wondered if she had gotten him all wrong... Maybe he wasn't some druggy rockstar man-whore. Maybe... sleeping with her meant something more to him than she realized. Biting her lip, she tried to hide the fact that she felt a bit guilty about wanting it things to be casual between the two of them.

As their food was delivered, Clarke couldn't help but avoid Bellamy's gaze- she couldn't handle the soft look he was giving her. Even more so, she couldn't handle how that look made her feel. 


	8. Track Eight: Everything from the Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a very short chapter- but lots of little fluff.

On the way back to the hotel, Clarke snuck glances at Bellamy. He seemed quiet, reserved. His hands were in pockets, and he was chewing his lip.

“What’s on your mind, Bellamy?” she asked, smiling at him softly. 

“Oh, nothing,” he said, shaking his head.

Clarke stopped and gave him a long look,  “doesn’t look like nothing.”

“Okay, well, its  sorta  stupid ,” he said, shuffling his feet, “ But, do I make you uncomfortable or something?” 

“Oh, um...” she turned and started walking again, “Bellamy, I’m not normal, I guess... The reason why I haven’t had a lot of relationships is because I don’t really enjoy romance, I guess?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, holding hands, dances, a white wedding, kissing under the mistletoe... all of those things make me feel nervous. Sometimes, even sick.” 

“Oh,” he said, stopping and tilting his  head to  look at her. As if making a decision, he nodded, “okay.” 

“Okay?”

“Yeah, if you aren’t comfortable with  PDA  or even with certain types of touch, just tell me,” Bellamy said, smiling, “I admit I don’t entirely understand it, but I ’ll  respect it.” 

“No one has ever said that to me,” Clarke said, looking down, “Finn used to tell me I was broken.” 

“Well, Finn sounds like a dick,” Bellamy said,  straightening his shoulders, he stared at her  point-blank. After a moment, Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. 

“He could be,” she admitted. As they began to walk again, Clarke bumped into  Bellamy . In a split decision, she grabbed his wrist and gently draped his arm over her shoulder, “is this okay?” 

“If it’s okay with you, then yeah, definitely,” Bellamy blushed. 

It was interesting that when someone gave her the space that she needed, she was happy to try something new. And when her own hand settled on his waist, he squeezed her shoulder lightly, and she felt a burst of butterflies in her stomach.

For the first time, she actually enjoyed it. 

Once they got back to the hotel room, they both seemed to realize they had nothing else to do until they were supposed to get ready for the concert.  So, w hile Clarke pulled out her art supplies, Bellamy broke out his acoustic guitar. 

“Is it okay if I practice a bit?” 

“You’re not bothering me,” Clarke said, in fact, she was excited to hear him play. 

Clarke sat at the table, drawing, while Bellamy sat on the foot of the bed and played some blues. Observing him, she admired the way his fingers glided over the strings with ease. When he started to get really into it, he began to sing- she loved that voice.  He didn’t have a classically good voice, but he was an excellent performer. He always captured the feeling of his songs. 

After a few songs, Clarke found herself humming along. 

“You still play?” Bellamy asked.

“Uh, yeah, but my guitar is back in Arkadia...” she said smiling, “I need a left-handed one.” 

“Ah, too bad, otherwise I’d ask you to play me something.” 

At that, Clarke laughed, “I think I’d rather just design  album  art, Bellamy.” 

“Can I see?” he asked, and Clarke nodded, gesturing for him to come over. As he stood by her, she heard him suck in a breath, “Clarke, this is amazing.” 

“Really?” she asked, pulling her hair behind her ear. 

“Yeah, is that a spaceship?” 

“Yeah... and those are jets... and that’s all of you; Monty, Jasper, Murphy, Harper... you. I think you’d look good in bomber jackets.” 

“Fuck, Clarke,” he said, sitting down next to her, Clarke watched as his wide eyes studied the drawing, “It’s so intricate.” 

“Well your band name is Skaikru, right? I thought galaxies and a space station was fitting... and just to be safe, there are some jets.”

“Everything from the sky,” Bellamy laughed, smiling. Slowly, Bellamy raised his hand, as if to cup her cheek. Drawing back, Clarke stopped him, and took his hand. Splaying it over her cheek, she smiled at him.

“It’s okay if you touch me, Bellamy,” Clarke said, swallowing hard, “I don’t know why, but you’re okay.” 

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Bellamy leaned forward and kissed Clarke softly on the lips, “I’m glad to hear that,” he said, smiling. As he disappeared, Clarke fell her heart pounding fast. As the rest of their group filed into the room, Clarke willed her face to cool off. Once everyone was inside, Bellamy sat back on the bed and played guitar some more, a new rift coming out from under his fingers. 

“Oh, writing something new?” Monty asked cracking a beer, “I like it!”

“Yeah, me, too.” Jasper agreed, snagging the djembe from the corner and working out a beat. 

Smiling at Clarke, Bellamy blushed, "I guess I’m just feeling inspired."

She just laughed and went back to her drawing. 

 


	9. Track Nine: A Pleasant Haze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hello to a chapter of pure fluff- well, pretty much pure fluff. lol

After the concert, Clarke and Bellamy skipped drinks with everyone else and went straight to their room. There was an air of nervousness, of finality to their time together. Bellamy closed the door behind her, and Clarke heard the lock click. Suddenly, it was as if something had snapped. Turning around, she almost collided with his chest.

Instead of looking up at him, Clarke wrapped her arms around his waist and set her ear over his heart. She couldn’t help but smirk when his cheek landed on her head, and his arms wrapped around her in turn.  

“Clarke?”  

“mhmm?”  

“Are you okay?”  

“Yeah, I’m good,” she said, letting out a breath, “I’m just going to miss you.”  

At that, Bellamy let out a chuckle, “Clarke... We don’t have to stop seeing each other if you don’t want to.”  

Pulling away, Clarke finally looked up at the man. Instead of making any declarations or decisions, she pulled him down into a searing kiss. Returning her affections with enthusiasm, Bellamy picked her up and took her to the bed. The only time his lips left hers was to strip them of their clothing.  

Every part of her heart told her not to do this-  _“don’t fall in_ _love,_ _don’t give in to this,”_  It said. But as the two of them collided; kissing, panting, rolling around. Fingers exploring, lingering kisses trailing, heartbeat against heartbeat, bodies diving deeper into one another- it was all bliss. All sweet, raw, and euphoric bliss.  

And god, Clarke was in deep.  

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Clarke and Bellamy were waiting with the van while the others got snacks and drinks in the gas station. They were about six hours out from Arkadia and Clarke had grown quiet, just enjoying Bellamy’s presence while she could. As he played with her hair, Clarke’s phone buzzed.  

**O:** _So, is my brother being nice to you?_  

**Clarke:** _yeah, he’s been really sweet._  

**O:** _Sweet? I call bullshit. Are you sure he isn’t trying to get in your pants?_  

**Clarke:** _O! He’s your brother!_  

**O:** _Doesn’t mean he won’t bone you, Clarke. I know his M.O._  

**Clarke:** _His M._ _O_ _._ _is fine. Geez. How’s Lincoln? Getting hitched yet?_  

“Ah, I win,” Clarke laughed, picturing O staring at her phone, completely and utterly stunned. Sitting back, she put her head on Bellamy’s shoulder.  

“Who’s that?” Bellamy asked, looking over Clarke’s shoulder, “your super-hot boyfriend I don’t know about?”  

“You know all about my super-hot boyfriend, Bellamy,” Clarke said before she could stop herself. Cheeks blushing, and ears burning, she looked up at Bellamy, who was smiling down at her. Raising her eyebrows in a challenge, she stared him down. Screw this weekend being the end of it- she liked him, that much was clear.  

Truth be told Clarke hadn’t felt this way about anyone, ever. So, maybe this was supposed to happen? Biting his lip, Bellamy leaned back and put his arm around Clarke’s shoulders.  

“Do I?” he asked, lowering his voice, and whispering in her ear, “do I know all about this boyfriend?”  

“I don’t know, do you?”  

Clarke could feel his fingers tracing over hers. There was warm swooping in her belly, and judging by the black in his eyes, he was seconds away from jumping her right there, in the van- while their friends were all in the gas station. 

“God, I wish we hadn’t left that hotel room yet, Clarke,” he mumbled burying his lips in her neck, and that, that did things to her, “can I see you when we get back?”  

Biting her lip, Clarke smiled and nodded, “I think I’d like that.” 

 

* * *

 

Bellamy had no idea what had changed Clarke’s mind in regard to them seeing one another after this weekend. But to be honest, he didn’t care. Overcome with affection for her, he cupped her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. In no time, she had her arms around his neck, and he could feel her pulse thrumming under his hand. God, it was perfect.  

“Whoa!” Murphy said, suddenly in the driver’s seat. He was batting a hand toward the pair, “leave some room for the Holy Spirit!”  

“I told you, John!” Emori said, getting in the passenger’s seat, “you owe me twenty bucks!” 

Murphy groaned and handed over the cash as Clarke leaned her head against Bellamy’s shoulder and laughed. Shortly thereafter, the others began to pile in the van. Handing over drinks and snacks to Bellamy and Clarke, the others spoke excitedly amongst themselves.  

As the car pulled out of the parking lot, Emori opened up a bag of chips and turned around, “Oh, guys in the back, pay up bitches! They’re boning.”  

Looking over to Clarke, Bellamy saw her eyes go wide. She was just about the color of beets. Bellamy pulled her close, and kissed her on the crown of the head, “She means well,” he whispered. Clarke nodded and let out a laugh, much to his relief.   

Hours passed as they drove closer and closer to Arkadia. A couple of hours out from town, Bellamy offered to switch with Murphy. Clarke also switched with Emori, so the pair could sleep.  

“Does your mom know you’re headed home?” Bellamy asked Clarke as they got back on the highway.  

“Yeah, she’s been staying at Kane’s place a lot though, so she won’t be home when we get to town.”  

“Ah, are you gonna make up a bubble bath, light some candles, have a little wine?”  

“and what, make a night of it?” Clarke asked, laughing. 

“Well, I’ve seen your work, you certainly wouldn’t get bored.” 

“Bell!” she shot him a warning look, and then gave him a sly smile.  

“What? Don't worry, the kids are all asleep, Clarke,” he said, motioning to the back of the car.  

“Are you fishing for an invite? Just don’t wanna end up in that house again with the guys?”  

“I guess I was hoping you weren’t sick of me yet,” he admitted, setting his hand on her thigh and squeezing. Smiling at him, Clarke picked it up, and laced their fingers together,  “If I’m being honest Clarke, I enjoy waking up next to you.”  

With a warm, soft feeling in her chest, Clarke kissed his knuckles and told him she liked it, too. 

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

The entire summer went by in a pleasant haze. Clarke tried more things than she probably should have- and most of the time, Bellamy was right there next to her, making sure she stayed safe and enjoyed herself. It wasn’t until he left for his mid-west tour in August that she told him she loved him. There were many, many times that she wanted to. But, considering the fact that they weren’t going to see one another until their friend Raven’s wedding in September, she wanted to wait until the perfect moment.  

Clarke had spent the day at her mom’s house (which was rare, usually she spent every moment with Bellamy- much to her mother’s dismay), and planned everything meticulously. She even bought some wine. Packing everything up, Clarke biked to the guys’ house and found Bellamy waiting outside for her.  

“Are we biking, Princess?”  

“hmmm... nope. But you gotta give me the keys to the van. Murphy said we could borrow it.”  

With a curious look, Bellamy went and grabbed the keys. After transferring everything to the van, Clarke turned to him and gave him her most innocent doe eyes. 

“What is it?” he asked, clearly suspecting something. 

“I need you to let me put this on you,” Clarke said, holding up a blindfold.  

“Is this gonna get kinky Clarke? Because I’m okay with that...” 

“Maybe, if you’re lucky,” she offered, winking.  

“Gross!” Octavia yelled as she walked past the pair and into the house, she’d been staying with the boys for a week, visiting. As Bellamy yelled for her to shut up, she merely flipped him off and went inside. O had been surprised by Clarke and Bellamy dating, but she was overall accepting. After threatening both of them if they hurt one another, she gave them her blessing.  

“C’ mon Bell, you have to do this if you want your surprise,” Clarke whispered in his ear. The man let out a shiver when she landed a soft kiss on his jaw. Turning around, he let her tie the blindfold.  

A half hour later, Clarke was taking the Blindfold off of him- revealing her secret spot.  

_“Clarke...”_  he nearly gasped “this is... wow.”  

“I know right?” she laughed, there was a little lake with a modest waterfall, plenty of space for lounging, and the whole area was secluded- Clarke had never seen another soul here, “After my dad died, I would come here to clear my head- I figured you’d like it. So, we can swim, eat... have some wine... and then tonight, we can watch the meteor shower from here.”  

At that, Bellamy’s eyes followed her pointing finger and he looked up to find a perfect gap in the treescape. Smiling, Bellamy began to strip, “First things first!” he yelled, running to the lake.  

Following suit, Clarke stripped down. She had skinny dipped here before, so it wasn’t a big deal, in her opinion. As soon as she made it out to Bellamy, he started splashing her. After shrieking and retaliating, Clarke dodged his attack by diving under the surface and coming up right in front him, so that they were chest to chest. Immediately, Bellamy pulled her into a kiss- it was a sweet thing, really.  

With her arms around his neck, Clarke rested her head on his shoulder and figured now was as good as any other time to tell him how she felt. 

“Bell?” she asked, suddenly feeling shy. 

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice sounding perfectly content.  

“I want you to know that I-” she paused, raising her head to look him in the eye, “I love you.”  

Bellamy’s gaze shifted into something incredibly soft, “Finally,” he murmured, before his lips went to meet hers, dodging his kiss, Clarke looked at him with a questioning look, “Oh- and I love you, too. Of course, I’ve been whispering that to you for the last month.” 

Clarke knew he had- she had heard him.  

That afternoon and evening had been absolutely perfect: after drying off, the pair got dressed, set up their picnic, and ate. As soon as the sun began to set, they laid down on the blanket and talked about everything and nothing.  

“One day, when I ask you to marry me, Clarke, it’s gonna be here.”  

“You don’t even know where we are, Bellamy,” she laughed, Clarke’s stomach did a flip at the idea of him asking her to marry him, “and how do you know you’ll even want to marry me? Maybe you’ll be some famous rockstar... Maybe you’ll forget all about me.” 

“I could never forget you, Clarke,” he said, adjusting himself so that he was cupping her cheek. Under the heat of his gaze, Clarke felt something deep and primal awake in her. It was something she had never felt before- something that this place, this conversation brought about. Apparently, Bellamy was on the same page though- in just minutes the two were a tangled mess of limbs and discarded clothing.  

Needless to say, they missed their meteor shower.  

 


	10. Track Ten: You Don't Know Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy try to keep a long distance relationship- but things quickly start to shift. 
> 
> Just a heads up, this chapter opens up with some phone sex.

“Then what would you do?” Clarke hummed into the phone, as her hand dipped into her shorts, “Tell me, Bellamy.”  

“You know what I’d do,” he practically growled through the phone, “I’d spread your legs wide, sink down to the ground, pull you close to me- and eat you out until you screamed.”  

“Uh huh?” she asked, playing with her clit until she let out a little whine.   

“Yeah,” he said, and she could hear him stroking himself, his hand speeding up- god she was close, so close, “c’ mon Clarke, you gonna let me hear those pretty noises? Are you gonna come for me?” 

“I need you, Bell...” she said, her back arching, “I miss you inside me.”  

“I know babe,” he said, “but your fingers are so talented, you know I love watching you get yourself off. So, are gonna come for me?” 

“Yeah,” she whined. 

“Tell me what you’re doing,” he purred.  

“I’m riding my fingers, pretending they’re yours... but they aren’t big enough.” 

“Are you wet?” 

“Yeah, so wet,” Clarke heard Bell let out a groan, putting him on speaker phone, she sunk back on her bed and used her free hand to play with her breasts, “I’m playing with my tits, just the way you like when I strip for you.” 

That was something Clarke only did for Bellamy- actually, there were a lot of things she only did for him, like having phone sex, holding hands, saying ‘I love you’, fucking in semi-public places.  

“Hey Clarke, remember in July, at The Herb Fest? Remember when we snuck away and fucked in the van?”  

“Yeah,” she said, thinking about how he had sat, legs crossed, and she rode him until she couldn’t handle the sensation anymore. As soon as he caught on, he had stilled her hips and relentlessly fucked into her until she screamed obscenities while she gripped the side of the van.  

“Do you remember how I sucked your tits and pounded into you? How you made me come twice?” he said, and she could picture him stroking himself, with his eyes closed, head tilted back, mouth slightly open, “are you gonna be a good girl and come first, Clarke?”  

“ _hmmm,_ ” she gave a strangled moan as her breath hitched and she hit her clit just right, and began to orgasm, “ _fuck.”_  

Bellamy talked her through her climax, and she could hear the way his breath was stuttering- she knew he came, too.   

As their breathing evened out, he spoke first, “only twenty-eight days until I see you, Princess.” 

“I don’t know if I can make it,” Clarke admitted. The moment he left, she felt unbearably alone. And now, three weeks later, she was back in Boston (rooming with O now- who was thankfully at Lincoln’s), and trying not to go crazy.  

“You can, we can. We’ll get through.”  

“Hmmm,” Clarke sighed, feeling completely content after her orgasm, “Talk to me Bell, tell me all about your day.” 

“Okay, Babe. But if you fall asleep before I’m done... Just know I love you, okay?” 

“I love you, too. More than anything.”  

 

* * *

 

The first clue was nausea- actually, no. 

The first clue was her heightened libido- but she didn't know that.

The second clue was nausea.

She hadn’t thrown up, no, not yet.  

When she and O tried on their dresses for Raven’s wedding, Clarke’s was a little tight. She didn’t think much of it. Blueberries tasted like mold (or what she imagined mold would taste like), and soon, coffee wasn’t allowed in the apartment anymore.  

“Are you pregnant?” Octavia just came right out and asked, when Clarke threw up for the third day in a row.  

“Just a bug.” she assured her, but inside, Clarke was panicking. Was she? No, she couldn’t be... she had been on birth control.  

 

“Did you hear about Murphy and Emori?” Bell asked when he had called her a week before the wedding.  

“What about ‘em?” Clarke asked she was lying in bed, feeling impossibly tired.  

“He knocked her up, he quit the band. Apparently, they’re gonna get married and keep it.”  

“You don’t think they should?” 

“I think he’s too young for it... They only just met,” he sighed, “that’s a big deal, like a  _really_ big deal.” 

“Well, what would you do if it happened to you?” she asked, keeping her voice level. 

“I don’t know Clarke,” he said, “I can’t think about that right now, there’s too much going on in my career- a kid... It would just screw things up.”  

“Oh,” she said, willing her throat not to close, and her eyes not to get wet.  

“Clarke, are you okay?” he asked, sounding concerned. 

“Yeah, I gotta go.” 

“Okay... love you.” 

“Mhmm... bye,” she said.  

Now that she knew where he stood, she was even more terrified of taking a test- Bellamy wouldn’t want their kid... and that broke her heart.  

 

* * *

 

Clarke managed to dodge his calls for the better part of a week. She told herself she’d take a test when she was in Arkadia. She’d tell Bellamy, and he’d be there when she did it. He loved her and she knew that when he saw her in person, he’d want to be there for her.  

His flight got delayed. He didn’t arrive until the morning of the wedding- and she didn’t get to see him until after, at the reception. Brimming with nerves, Clarke tried not to sound awkward, but she couldn’t even meet his gaze. He looked so happy to see her, and she just felt an intense sense of pending doom.  

She was being crazy though? She hadn’t even taken a test- and she was like an insane person. Maybe she was being a hypochondriac, just because Emori got knocked up, didn’t mean she did.  

Willing herself to relax, she approached Bellamy. For the first time in almost two months, he kissed her. It was sweet and deep and brought tears to her eyes.  

“What's wrong?” he asked, his brow furrowed in concern. 

“Nothing, it was just a beautiful wedding,” she said, cupping his cheek, “I’ve missed you.”  

“I’ve missed you, too. You look beautiful, Clarke.”  

“Thank you, you cleaned up real nice,” she smiled, and with one more kiss added, “I love you.” 

He told her he loved her, too. He promised they’d catch up after the meal.  

Little did she know she wouldn’t be saying that to him again for a very long time.  

 

* * *

 

“Hey, wanna dance?” Bellamy asked, grabbing Clarke’s hand, and gently pulling her up to the dance floor. She looked so beautiful in her baby blue dress. As she slid her arm over his shoulder and held his hand, Bellamy leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “I know Raven’s supposed to be the most beautiful woman in the room... but you take the cake, babe.”  

Clarke let out a soft chuckle, but the worry returned as soon as Bellamy make eye contact with her, “I have some good news.”  

“Oh, really?”  

“Yeah, I got asked to go on tour in Europe after this last one. I leave in January, you should be done with the semester by then, right?”  

“Yeah, but Bellamy... I can’t,” she said, her back stiffening. Looking around nervously, she tore away from him and left the room. Bellamy followed after her and caught up with her by the fountain.  

“Clarke! Clarke, wait!” When she finally turned back around, Bellamy tried to maintain his composure and be soft about this- but he was confused, “Clarke what is going on? You’ve been acting weird all day...”  

“I just... you can’t just ask me to make big life decisions. What if I asked you to make a big life decision like that, how would you feel?”  

Bellamy stared at her for a moment- of course, there was something churning in her head. Clarke had to be dealing with something else. There was no way this was actually about Europe. Instead of getting upset, he decided to indulge her, “What kind of decision are we talking about?” he asked coyly, “Seriously Clarke, you tell me what you want- and I’ll do it. Do you want me to stay? I’ll stay!”  

“No, I don’t want you to stay... I wouldn’t forgive myself if I got in the way of your dream. But you can’t do this, just drop a bombshell on me like that.”  

“What bombshell, Clarke?” he asked, grabbing her hands and holding them loosely, “you know I love you- it's only natural that I ask you to come with me. It’s not like I’m proposing or asking you to have my children. I thought it would just be a fun trip... I know how much you’d love to draw those old buildings. And we could go to the museums together- It would be great.”  

“We can’t do this anymore,” Clarke said, her gaze even and her jaw set. 

 _“What?”_  

Whatever he had been expecting, that was not it.  

“You don’t know me, Bellamy,” she said, her expression far away.  

“I know you enough,” Bellamy said, pleading, “Clarke, what the hell is going on? I thought things were going well.” 

“They were,” she said, shrinking back and not meeting his gaze. Suddenly, Bellamy felt a cloud of doom closing in on him, “things were good... They were great.”  

“Then what is this, Clarke? You said you loved me- or was this just a way to pass time?” Bellamy leaned on his heels as he let Clarke simmer under his heated gaze. Was she really going to leave him? Did she feel nothing for him? She stood there biting her lip, looking around nervously, as if she was afraid someone would see them together, “You know, never mind. I think I got my answer.”  

Making his way around Clarke, he couldn’t help but scoff. 

“Bellamy, wait-” Clarke said, trying to grab his hand. The gesture got his attention and he rounded on her again, this time he was biting- all of the confusion and hurt he felt took a toll and he dished it out before he thought better of it.  

“Look, it's fine Clarke,” he seethed, “The next time you want to fuck though, make sure it's in dark alley or make it a bathroom hookup or something. Then we can both save ourselves the embarrassment of whatever this summer was.”  

The look of complete and utter hurt on Clarke's face was enough for Bellamy to know that he hit a nerve.   

Turning back around, Bellamy came toe to toe with Octavia, “What the hell is going on?”  

“Nothing,” Clarke said, her voice cracking as she ran past both Blake siblings and disappeared into the reception.  

“Bellamy, what did you do?”  

“O, this isn’t any of your business,” he said, turning away. 

“Clarke is my best friend- and my roommate, of course, it’s my business. Whatever you did, fix it.”  

 _I don’t know if I can,_ he thought to himself, as he felt his heart shatter. 

 

* * *

 

After her fight with Bellamy, Clarke went home. She had meant to tell him... she really had. But he got an offer to tour and record in Europe...  

She knew that if she had told him about the potential pregnancy, he would automatically offer to stay. And she couldn’t let him give up his dream. Not when she planned on getting rid of the baby anyway. Well, maybe. She wasn’t sure yet.  

In a snap decision, Clarke decided to face the predicament head-on. On her way home, she grabbed a pregnancy test from Walgreens. Following the instructions carefully, she took the test. As she waited the three minutes, her phone lit up, it was Bellamy again. She watched as his call went to voicemail. As soon as it did, she got up and looked at the test on the counter.  

Staring at it, she felt numb. That is until her mom knocked on the door and asked if she was okay- apparently, Bellamy had called her, he had been worried.

“Clarke? Is everything alright?”  

Opening the door, she let her mom in. Sitting on the side of the tub, Clarke waited for her to notice the test on the counter. It took her a minute, but when she did Clarke watched as her mother’s face went white. After a moment, her mom came over and pulled her close.  

“Clarke, we’ll get through this,” she said, petting her daughter’s hair, and shushing her, “does Bellamy know?”  

Chewing her lip, Clarke made a decision. Shaking her head, she looked at her mother and lied, “It’s not his, mom.”  


End file.
